Today

I ran an untimed, unmeasured hilly trail today. I didn't run yesterday, despite my intentions. My run today felt pretty good, but I think I need to start pushing myself harder. I am 2 1/2 weeks into the training, and my body is definitely used to running at this speed. Not that it is easy now or anything, but when I first started training a lot of my focus was on reminding my body what it felt like to hurt. I think it has gotten the idea now, which means it is now time to make it hurt more.

I want to take a second to explain a couple things. When I ran cross country I wasn't ever happy with how I did. I would always think to myself 'what am I doing?' about half-way through the race, which automatically took the wind out of my sails and I would tank. My team members and I were always pretty close in time at practice, but for some reason my race times weren't equally comparable. Sometimes even the girls I would beat in practice would beat me come race day. This is frustrating because I know I am a fast runner. Going back to track, my 400 times were decent. Better than most. During club track we would run one mile for warm-up, and I would finish in nearly exactly 7:00 flat. That was warm-up. And then, I specifically remember running the mile for a time-trial in cross country, and I was appalled at my time of 6:30. I was certain I would break six minutes. There was something about cross country that I had a hard time with. But because there is no sense in worrying about the past, and in order to allow myself the opportunity to improve in the future, I am going to list the factors I know I never considered or practiced while training in cross-country:

-Diet: I never thought about the effects of what I ate. I didn't, and still don't, eat horribly, but there is definitely room for improvement. And knowing what I know now about physiology, the effects are undeniable.

-Strength Training: I never, I repeat, never, lifted weights. I am not a fan of it, but I am not opposed to it. Core strength is essential to running, seeing as the abdominals are major components in flexion of the hip (lifting the knee).

-Flat out pushing myself: I can't say that I gave every race and every work-out my all. I know what you're thinking, 'then how can you be disappointed in your performance if you didn't give it your all?'. If you were to ask me while I was running in track or cross country if I was completely out of gas I would have said yes. But, I wasn't. Even today, if you are to ask me that while I'm running I would probably still say yes. But I'm not. Unless you are dead, the answer to that question is always no. I was just afraid to push myself, and now I'm not. it's probably a maturity thing.

So this gives me lots of hope and excitement. Unlike Mike who is trying to get back to where he was (which is an incredible feat considering) I'm still trying to see what I'm capable of (since going to back to where I was isn't so incredible of a feat). And if I do better than ever before FABULOUS! if I don't, then at least I know my capacity.